


What the Doctor Ordered

by indiepjones46



Series: The Next 48 Hours [1]
Category: Hawaii Five-0 (2010)
Genre: First Kiss, First Time, M/M, Mutual Pining, Slash, Some mild spoilers, Therapy, mcdanno, season 6 episode 3
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-18
Updated: 2015-10-18
Packaged: 2018-04-26 23:01:14
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 9,863
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5023963
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/indiepjones46/pseuds/indiepjones46
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Steve and Danny thought they were through with their counseling sessions. They were wrong. Their therapist thinks there is still something holding them back from being able to work flawlessly as a team, and she's determined to get to the bottom of it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own or profit from anything relating to this show. If I did own it, it would be on HBO so we could see some real McDanno action!
> 
> Beta: Just me
> 
> Spoilers: This takes place right after Season 6 Episode 3, so there are a few mild spoilers mixed with a lot of imaginary ones.

“I still don’t understand why I’m back here,” Commander Steve McGarett said, his voice testy. “I thought we were through with the therapy sessions since we turned in your little homework assignment.”

The psychologist just raised an eyebrow and observed the rigid posture of the man in the seat across from her. “I’m afraid, Commander, that your part of the assignment only left me with more questions than answers. Your partner’s workbook was a lot more forthcoming than yours was, and I would like to know why.”

Steve threw himself back into the chair, his foot tapping anxiously. There was nothing he hated more than talking about his feelings, especially when they concerned his partner, Detective Danny Williams. “Listen, doc, I’ve been patient with this whole process, but you’ve got to understand that we’ve got active cases right now and they need me to lead the process. This is a waste of time. Me and Danny? We’re good. He’s my partner, I trust him with my life, and I’ve got his back. What more needs to be said?”

The doctor picked up a workbook and slowly began to page through it before she answered. “You know what? Let’s just shelve the thought of your partner for a moment, okay? Right now, I’d like to talk about your personal life. How are things going with Catherine since she’s returned after her year absence?”

Steve’s jaw muscle clenched and his eyes turned stony. “I’d rather not talk about Catherine right now.”

The woman took a deep breath and let it out slowly. “Commander, I hate to remind you once again that your ability to maintain your post with Five-0 is contingent upon clearing your psych eval. I still have concerns about your mental health and well-being, and until I am satisfied, I will not sign off on the governor’s form. Do I make myself clear?”

Steve mentally ran through all the ways he could kill her with an ink pen, counted to ten, and then finally answered, “Catherine is gone. Again. I was going to ask her to marry me and even had the ring in my pocket, but she left. She chose to participate in a humanitarian mission over staying with me. Is that what you wanted to hear?”

The doctor remained unruffled as she scratched down some notes on his chart. “Tell me, Steve. Why did you want to propose to a woman who left you stranded in a foreign country, failed to contact you for almost a year, and then returned out of the blue with no notice? Why did you allow her to fall so seamlessly right back into your life?”

Steve clamped his mouth shut, stubbornly refusing to admit the truth. Finally, when the doctor only stared at him with an eyebrow raised, he snapped, “I loved her. I thought she loved me the same way. I was wrong.”

The doctor wrote a few more notes and changed tactics. “From our previous conversations, I understand you haven’t had many long-term relationships in your life-“

“That’s pretty hard to do when you’re on active duty in the Navy,” he rudely interrupted her. “I was more focused on my career and the safety of my men than in maintaining a commitment to someone who may not understand the sacrifices and danger of my line of work.”

The doctor nodded, paused, then asked, “Before I ask this next question, I want to remind you that this is a safe place and anything we discuss in this room remains between me and you. Personal details and information are not included in my final report to the governor and are covered by Doctor/Patient confidentiality. Do you understand?”

Steve nodded slowly, his face clearly showing suspicion of her motives. “Yeah, I got it.”

“Good. Other than Catherine Rollins, have you been sexually involved with anyone else in the past ten years?" ”he asked.

Steve’s knuckles turned white where he gripped the arm of the chair. “I fail to see how this line of questioning is relevant to my ability to do my work.”

“I assure you, Steve, that every question I ask is very relevant. Please answer the question,” she demanded politely.

“Fine. Yes, I have had sexual relations with other people in the last ten years. None of them were more than convenience or scratching an itch,” he bit out.

“Were these encounters always with women, or were some of them with men?” she asked, her voice calm and non-judgmental.

Steve sprang to his feet and headed toward the door. Before his hand could touch the handle, she called out, “We’re not through, Commander. Please sit down and answer the question. I will remind you that this conversation is classified.”

Steve debated the wisdom of just walking out the door versus what he knew the consequences would be. They were right in the middle of a huge case involving gun smuggling, and if he was placed on leave for not cooperating, it could cost the team valuable time and resources. Closing his eyes and taking a deep breath, he turned and resumed his seat.

In a clinical and monotone voice, he replied, “There have been four other women and five men over the past ten years that I have engaged in sexual contact with. I always practice safe sex, and my bloodwork is clean.”

The doctor just nodded and made a few notes. “Thank you for your honesty, Steve. I understand that discussing your sexuality is not easy for you, especially with your history in the Navy. However, in order to fully understand your emotional and mental status, it is important that I have all the information necessary before I can sign off on your report.”

Steve just stared at her without blinking. This same look had made Yakuza gunmen, fleeing criminals, and hardened Navy SEALs run for cover, but the doctor just smiled kindly. Finally, Steve asked, “Do you want to enlighten me on what my sex life has to do with my abilities run the Five-0?”

“Frankly, Commander McGarrett, I believe it has quite a bit to do with you and your task force. More specifically, it has to do with the relationship between you and Detective Williams.” She waited a moment for him to absorb this information, and then continued, “Let me ask you a question, and I expect your total honesty. Did your decision to ask Catherine to marry you have anything to do with the fact that Detective Williams is currently in his own long-term relationship with his girlfriend, Melissa? Did you feel that he was leaving you behind, and you felt it necessary to fill your loneliness with the next available alternative?”

Steve could feel his face drain of all color, leaving him slightly dizzy and with a metallic taste in the back of his throat. Before he could answer, however, his cell phone buzzed in his pocket. Grasping at the lifeline, he showed the caller ID to the doctor, and she just nodded when she saw the word “Governor” on the screen.

Steve touched the answer key and said, “Governor. What I can I do for you?” He nodded, made a few noises of understanding, and finally replied, “I’ll be right there. Thank you, sir.”

Standing to his feet, he told the doctor, “I’m sorry, but I have to take this.”

The doctor just nodded in agreement, and replied, “I’ll have my secretary email you your next appointment. In the meantime, I suggest you think about your answer carefully and do some soul searching. My questions will not get easier, Commander.”

Steve just nodded tersely and stormed out the door.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Note: I'm pretty sure I saw this same reference to Captain America in another fanfic, but I've read so many of them that I cannot for the life of me remember who it came from. I loved it so much that I had to use it, so if the author is reading this, please know that I will gladly give you a shout-out!

When Steve reached the parking lot, he saw his partner and best friend, Danny Williams, leaning casually against the hood of his black Camero with his arms crossed over his chest. His face was wreathed with a wide grin and he called out, “Did she buy it?”

Steve couldn’t help the answering grin that split his face, and replied, “Yeah. Good call, buddy. Changing your name in my contacts to ‘Governor’ really helped me out of a tight situation.” He crossed over to the driver’s side, and slid into the seat while Danny took the passenger side.

When they were on their way back to the Palace, Danny broke the silence that had grown comfortable between them. “So, you gonna tell me what that was all about? I thought we were done with our therapy sessions.”

Steve shot him a guarded look and tried to shrug him off. “It was nothing. She just had some follow-up questions. No big deal.”

Danny stuck his bottom lip out in a familiar gesture of thought. “Yeah, I don’t buy that. You’ve got your secret face on right now, and that means that you’re trying to hide something from me. What did she want to talk about, babe? Was it Wo Fat? Was it about your mom?” When Steve remained stonily silent, he guessed, “Was it about Catherine? How would she know about that already?”

Steve scowled and snapped, “I said it was nothing, Danny. Leave it alone.”

Danny held his hands up in defense. “So touchy all of a sudden, aren’t we, Captain America?”

Steve sighed, his usual enjoyment of their banter missing. Still, he couldn’t let that one slip by him. “Captain America was in the Army, Danny. I’m Navy.”

Danny just smiled and shrugged, clearly happy to get even a small rise out of his partner. “Whatever. All I’m trying to say is that I’m your partner and your friend. If there’s something you need to talk about, you know you can tell me, right?”

Steve just nodded, silently disagreeing with him. While he could usually talk to Danny about most things, especially if Danny refused to let it go, he knew he couldn’t talk about what was really bothering him. It had been years of keeping this secret to himself, and he saw no reason to part with this information now. It was his cross to bear, his secret to hold close, and Danny was the absolute last person who needed to hear it.

Thankfully, they pulled into the parking lot of HQ before Danny could go on the attack again, and they were able to jump back into their case with no further discussion about his therapy session. Kono and Chin had a lead to follow up on and Steve grabbed at the distraction gratefully. Once again, he found himself in the car with Danny, but before Danny could raise the topic again, Steve went on the offense and began to question him instead.

“What’s the latest on Charlie? Any news on his condition?” he asked, glancing over at his partner for to watch his expression.

Steve could see the play of emotions across Danny’s face to include concern, love, betrayal, rage, and finally back to love again. “We’ll be doing the procedure soon, so it’s kind of a waiting game at this point. Rachel’s been holding up to her end of the bargain, and I’ve been spending more time with Charlie. We’re waiting until he’s a little older to tell him I’m his real dad. He’s such a smart kid, Steve. So sweet and funny, too.”

Steve could see that familiar look on his partner’s face; that look was pure devotion and awe, and he had it every time he spoke about Grace. Now it was there when he spoke about Charlie, too. “You’re a good father, Danny. I hate that you lost the first three years of his life, but now you can make up for it, yeah?”

Danny nodded. “Yeah, but it will never make up for what Rachel stole from me. I have tried so hard to be polite, but all feelings I ever had for her are completely dead. I’m starting to think I should just swear off women all together, especially when you add in what Cath just pulled.”

Steve shot him an incredulous look. “What about Melissa? I thought things were good with you two?”

Danny looked out the window and replied, “What about her? Between my crazy work schedule, time with Grace and Charlie, and her work schedule, we never seem to have the time to get together anymore. We decided to go ahead and end it, but we’re still friends. Besides, I’m pretty sure she’s started seeing someone at work, so it was better just to make a clean break.”

Though Steve was secretly pleased at this news, he was also sorry for Danny. He knew that Danny had cared about Melissa, but he had never seen any real passion or great love between them. “I’m sorry to hear that, buddy. Looks like it’s just me and you again.”

Danny flashed him a dazzling smile. “Who loves ya, babe?”

Steve laughed as a weight lifted from his shoulders. “You do, Danno. Love you, too, buddy.”


	3. Chapter 3

“Thank you for agreeing to come in on such short notice, Detective Williams,” the therapist started as Danny shifted to get comfortable in his chair.

Danny had been raised to be polite and treat women with respect, so he kept his irritation firmly locked down. “No problem, doc. I have to admit I was surprised, though. I thought Steve and I had already been cleared.”

The woman’s lips tipped up in a small smile as she replied, “The rest of your team has been cleared, but I still have some concerns about your partnership that need to be addressed. How are you and the Commander getting along these days?”

Danny shrugged and thought about it for a moment. “About the same as always, I guess. He takes too many risks, endangers our lives, I yell at him about it, and he keeps doing it anyway. Other than that, we’re good. He’s my best friend.”

The doctor wrote a few notes in his chart before asking, “How are things going with you and Melissa?”

Danny rolled his eyes, but answered, “We broke up. No big drama or anything, but we just didn’t have the time to commit to it. She’s a sweet girl, but I’ve got too many other things going on in my life right now to devote to a relationship with a woman.”

Her eyebrow arched and she stared at him for a long moment until he started to squirm. He hated that feeling; that one where he felt like someone had peeled away his skin to have a peek at what was underneath. Danny was usually pretty open about his feelings, especially for a man, but there were some things that did not need to be poked or raked into the light of day.

Finally, she spoke. “You always seem to have enough time to devote to Steve, though, right? You two still hang out on the weekends, with and without your daughter, and get together several times during the week after work for drinks or dinner. Why do you think it is that it seems to be easy to fit recreation time in for your partner, but not for the person you are having a romantic relationship with?”

Danny’s face turned into stone at her words. It wasn’t the first time he had heard that accusation, which was a large part of the reason he and Melissa had finally called it quits. Though Danny had insisted to everyone else that the break-up was no big deal, it had actually ended with a messy bang. Melissa had taken exception with the amount of time Danny devoted to both his work and his partner, and had issued an ultimatum. Either he could choose Steve or her, but she would not play second-fiddle to his partner any longer. For Danny, it was a no-brainer. Aside from his kids, Steve was the most important person in his life, and if Melissa couldn’t deal with that, then she was welcome to leave. So she did.

“Just what are you trying to say, doc?” Danny asked, carefully controlling the fury in his voice.

Her face was kind, but her words were clipped and professional. “I’m not trying to say anything, Detective. I’m simply seeking an insight into your decision-making processes and what motivates you to make the choices you do. That is my job, and I’m very good at it. The relationship between you and Commander McGarrett is complex and multi-faceted on an emotional and mental level. If there is an imbalance in this partnership, then that could lead to decisions made in the line of fire that could cost someone their life. It has already caused several injuries and near-misses, which is why the governor gave me more time to try to get to the bottom of the imbalance. The future of your working relationship with your partner and with the Five-0 depends on your honesty.”

Danny wrestled with his emotions as fear and rage battled for control. The fear was the thought of losing his job, his ohana, and his partner. The rage was his natural reaction to anything that posed a threat to his happiness. Grace, and now Charlie, made him happy. His job, even though it was demanding and time-consuming, made him happy. His partnership with Steve made him happy. No one would take what was his.

Danny took a few deep breaths until he had composed himself. Finally, through gritted teeth, he answered her original question. “I find time to spend with Steve because he is more than my partner. He is my best friend. He is the only one who understands the pressures of the job. He loves my daughter and he cares about me. He’s family.”

The doctor met his steely gaze unflinchingly. “I’m going to ask you some very hard questions, Danny, and I want to remind you that our conversation is protected by confidentiality and will not be repeated to anyone. With that in mind, can I expect you to answer me honestly?”

Danny could feel his palms sweating against the fabric of the chair arms that he was gripping. He had a sinking feeling that he knew where this conversation was going. It was one thing to laugh it off when his teammates, criminals, or HPD joked about it. It was another thing all together when the therapist that stood between him and his job was asking it.

Without replying, he jerked his head in the affirmative. Taking that as her cue, she asked, “Have you ever found yourself having romantic or sexual thoughts about your partner?”

“Fuck me,” Danny groaned. He could feel his face flooding with color and he ran his hand across his hair absently.

Before she could ask a follow-up question or demand an answer from him, his phone rang. Pulling it out of his pocket, he showed the display to the doctor. “It’s my daughter’s school. I need to take this.”

The doctor just smiled and nodded her agreement. Danny took the call, made a few surprised sounds, then said, “I understand, Mr. Kaialani. I’ll be right there to pick her up.”

To the doctor he said, “I’m sorry, but I have to go pick Grace up from school.” He grimaced as he pointed to his head, “Lice.”

The therapist sighed, and replied, “I understand, Detective. I think one more appointment should do it, so I will have my secretary email you with the date and time, and no matter what is going on at the time, I will expect you to be there for the full session. Do I make myself clear?”

Danny agreed, shook her hand, and hastily exited the building as if his ass was on fire.


	4. Chapter 4

When Danny made it back to HQ, he slunk into his office before anyone could waylay him. There was no way he wanted to face any of his teammates after what he had just been through. He should have known that wouldn’t work on Steve, however.

“Did she fall for it?” Steve asked with a boyish smile.

Danny couldn’t stop the leap his stomach gave, just as it always did, each time that face was bestowed on him. He loved all of Steve’s faces. It was the only time the emotionally-stunted SEAL expressed himself in such a way that Danny could see into his head and heart. Every smile was like a gift, and Danny found himself doing anything he could just to see it one more time.

“Yeah, it worked. Thanks for the save, babe,” Danny replied, his eyes shifting away as he remembered the last question he escaped.

He could see Steve watching him carefully for a moment while Danny busied himself with shuffling papers and wiggling his computer mouse. “So, what did she want? Was it about Charlie? Melissa?” Steve asked, fishing for more information.

Danny grasped on to the lifeline gratefully. “Not that it’s any of your business, Mr. Control Freak, but yes, she wanted to know about Melissa,” he hedged, telling only part of the truth.

Steve studied Danny carefully. “Did she mention me at all? You know, like our work relationship?” he asked with forced casualness.

“Enough with the third degree, Steven!” Danny erupted. “It was nothing, okay? Don’t we have a case we’re supposed to working right now? Drug lords to topple? Murderers to catch? Jesus!”

Steve held his hands up in a defensive posture. “No need to bite my head off, Danny. Fuck,” he cursed, pushing off from the doorframe where he had been leaning.

When Steve stalked out of his office, Danny rubbed his face wearily with his hands. “Way to play it cool, asshole,” he hissed at himself under his breath.

Danny heaved a sigh and resolutely dug into the stacks of paperwork waiting on his desk as a convenient distraction. Even though he worked efficiently and quickly to file his case reports, his mind refused to let go of the sound of the therapist’s question ringing in his head. What could he have said to her? The truth? There was no way he could ever reveal that part of himself to anyone. It had taken him almost two years to come to terms with how he felt about Steve, and those feelings had become a familiar, if heavy, weight around his neck that he felt should be his own burden to bear.

He wasn’t sure exactly when it happened. In fact, he could only assume he had been falling in love with his partner by degrees ever since their first day on the job. Having been raised in an environment where religion was eschewed in favor of logic and reason, he had no moral objections to same sex couples. He, however, had never been in this particular predicament before, and it had taken months of soul-searching and grappling with the idea of being physically attracted to a man before he could even be honest with himself about it. Just because he had finally accepted the fact that he wanted Steve in every way, didn’t mean that Steve himself would be open to the idea. In fact, Danny was pretty sure that Steve would panic and find an excuse to take a dangerous mission to some Godforsaken country just to get away from him if he knew the truth.

Danny couldn’t risk that. Steve had become too important not only to him, but to their team and especially to Grace. He couldn’t suppress the small smile at the thought of Steve and Grace when they were together. Steve was a natural with his daughter, and Grace lit up like a Christmas tree whenever she knew they would be heading to Uncle Steve’s house. It shouldn’t surprise him at how happy Steve was whenever she was around, laughing and bouncing around like an overgrown Labrador when she was there, but it never failed to shock him to see the years of heartache and stress melt away from Steve’s face in her presence. How could he not love him for that?

He was just going to have to lie to the therapist and hope he convinced her to drop this line of questioning. Next time, he wouldn’t tell Steve when he had an appointment. The same trick wouldn’t work a second time anyway, and he needed to be sure he had the time and presence of mind to ensure that the therapist came to the wrong conclusion and stamped them both for approval. It was the best possible outcome to this whole fucked up situation.


	5. Chapter 5

For the next week, Steve was relieved that their current case took up all of their time. Between following up on leads, chasing suspects, examining evidence, and filing reports, there was little to no time for him and Danny to spend time alone. The last thing he wanted was for Danny to keep pushing for more information about his last therapy session.

After all his years in the SEALs and Navy Intelligence, he had become a master at keeping his secrets close and revealing no trace of classified information. His feelings for Danny were among the most classified of his secrets, right up there with Operation Strawberry Fields. People may joke that they were an old married couple, but if anyone actually believed how close to the truth they were, Steve would be back in the service faster than Kono could take down a bad guy with a roundhouse kick. He would never burden Danny with the knowledge that Steve was in love with him, and had been for years. That would irrevocably ruin the best relationship he’d ever had in his life, and he refused to allow that to happen.

Other than his on-again/off-again relationship with Catherine, no one even knew much about Steve’s love life, even Danny. Any time Steve had felt the need to attend to his physical desires, he treated the experience like a classified covert op. He carefully laid the groundwork for his cover with his team, leaving no clues or hints about his real mission, and then carried it out in complete secrecy. Usually, this involved taking a boat to another island in Hawaii and scouting for his conquests where no one would easily recognize him. He took great care to change or disguise his appearance and never gave his real name or information, especially when he was looking for male company.

Steve had grappled with his desires for years, always struggling to suppress that part of himself, but with the addition of Danny to his team, it became harder and harder to deny that part of himself. It was no mistake that the last four men he had picked up were on the short side, corded with muscle, and had blonde hair. It was the only way for Steve to release the pent up desire and frustration that built up over time as he became more and more immersed in Danny’s life. Every touch, every kiss, every time he used those men as thoroughly and ruthlessly as he wanted, he was thinking about Danny.

He thought seriously about just spilling the truth to the therapist, but he couldn’t take the chance that she would use that as an excuse to tear their team apart. He had handled his feelings for years, and he could continue to compartmentalize as long as it was necessary to do so. He would just have to convince her that she had it all wrong and hope that she would let it go. He made a mental note to himself not to tell Danny about his next session. He had a mission to fulfill and the less interference from his partner, the better.

This was what was on his mind as he made his way to the counselor’s office a week later on a Friday afternoon. Standing outside the room, he straightened his shoulders, took a deep breath, and schooled his face into a blank slate. When he was sure he had his shit together, he pushed open the door to commence Operation Deception.

When he stepped into the room, he froze in place, his carefully laid plans dashed to pieces. “Danny? What the fuck are you doing here?”

Danny’s face was glazed with panic. “Me? What the fuck are _you_ doing here?”


	6. Chapter 6

“Gentlemen,” the calm voice of the therapist interrupted, “Thank you for making the time to see me today. Commander, please take your seat.” When Steve woodenly sat in the chair, she continued, “I trust that there will be no emergency calls to interrupt our session this time?”

Neither man spoke, but both gave her a stiff tip of the head in agreement.  Opening a manila file folder, the therapist glanced at her notes. “I just want to start this session by once again reminding you both that whatever is discussed in this room is completely confidential. I expect honesty from each of you, and believe me, I will know if you are lying to me.”

Danny could feel the sweat beading across his body as he flashed hot then cold. He was so screwed right now, and not in a good way. Steve, on the other hand, was unnaturally still as if made of a block of ice. If his eyes could be classified as a lethal weapon, the good doctor would be dead and scattered in a dozen pieces.

“I have spent a lot of time with both of you, together and individually, in order to understand the dynamics of your relationship. No matter how hard I tried, though, there was still something elusive and hidden that I could feel was keeping us from making real progress. I believe I have come to the correct conclusion on what that issue may be, but I feel there is nothing I can do to resolve it without bringing it out to the open,” she began.

Danny tried to swallow the panic that was crawling up his throat. “Listen, doc. I think I have a pretty good idea of where you’re going with this, but you’ve got us all wrong. I’m a straight man. Me, right here, saying I have never been with another man in that way in my life. And Super SEAL over here? Are you kidding me? I’ve never seen him so much as look twice at another man. We’re friends, okay? Nothing is going to change that.”

The therapist listened thoughtfully, but without replying to him, she turned to Steve. “Steve, would you like to add anything to what your partner just said? Anything you would like say at all?”

Steve glared at her, hoping she would burst into flames, but there was no such luck. Finally, he replied, “I have nothing to add to that.”

The doctor bent him a hard look. “Steve, I know this is difficult for you and goes against everything you have been trained for and had drilled into you over your life. However, I believe that Danny deserves the truth from you. You cannot continue to keep such an integral part of yourself hidden away from the one person who cares the most about you. You understand that, right? Detective Williams has been the one person in your life who you’ve been able to trust, count on during the bad times, and has never let you down. Why do you assume any of that would change if you told him about this?”

Danny’s eyes flashed back and forth between the two as confusion clouded his eyes. When Steve didn’t respond, Danny finally turned to face his partner. “Steven? What’s going on? Have you been keeping something from me?” When Steve turned his face away, Danny saw red. “Are you fucking kidding me right now? After all the shit we’ve been through together, you’re still hiding something from me? I’ve told you everything! You’ve seen me at my absolute worse, and you still can’t trust me?” Danny’s voice was a mixture of rage and pain.

Before Steve could respond, the doctor chimed in, “Danny, I understand that you are hurt and angry right now, but you need to stop and regroup for a moment. We both know that Steve isn’t the only one hiding something from his partner, so throwing out accusations and yelling will get us nowhere.”

Steve’s head snapped up at her words, and he turned his head to spear Danny with his intense glare. “Now who’s the one throwing stones in glass houses, Danny? It’s so easy to blame me for everything that goes wrong in your life, isn’t it? Have you ever stopped to think that maybe you should just man the fuck up and take some responsibility for your own bad choices?”

Danny clenched his fist and yelled back, “Bad choices? I’m sorry, did you just say I make bad choices? You know what? You’re right, Steven. I have done nothing but make bad choices ever since I met you!”

Before Steve could fire back at him, the therapist intervened. “That’s enough, gentlemen. I know emotions are running high right now, but there will be plenty of time for you both to hash things out when we are through here. Steve, I think you should turn to Danny and tell him what you told me during our last brief session together. Danny, can you promise to be non-judgmental and support your partner no matter what it is he says to you?”

Danny threw his hands up in frustration. “Of course I will! I may give him shit all the time, but that’s just what I do. I love the guy, okay? There is absolutely nothing he could say to me that would change my mind about that.” Turning to Steve, he addressed him personally. “Do you hear me, babe? Because I can say it again. There is _nothing_ that you can say to me that will ever change that. I will not leave you, the team, or Hawaii for any reason. I thought I’ve proved that to you by now.”

Steve could feel the damn tears pricking behind his eyes, and he reached up to rub at them wearily to disguise their presence. After several tense moments, he cleared his throat and spoke. “It’s personal, Danny. I don’t like to talk about it and no one else knows.” When Danny just waited patiently, he finally forced the words past his throat as if they were razor blades. “I’m bisexual. I am attracted to both women and men. I have had sexual relationships with men. Are you happy now?” he snapped bitterly.

Danny sat in stunned disbelief as Steve’s words echoed around and around in his head. Once the shock subsided though, rage and another emotion he refused to acknowledge roared to the surface. “When, Steven?”

“When what, Danny?” he shot back warily.

“Don’t pretend that you don’t know what I’m asking, asshole. When was the last time you fucked another man?” Danny snarled, leaning into his partner’s personal space.

Steve’s jaw clenched and his eyes lit up with fire. “Not that it’s any of your fucking business, but it was a month before Cath returned, okay?”

The doctor watched silently, observing the tense emotions that swirled around the two men, but she allowed Danny to keep talking.

“Okay?” He turned and angrily addressed the therapist. “Did you just hear him ask me if it was okay?” He turned back to Steve and continued, “No, it is not okay, Steven! Who the fuck was it? Do I know him? Are you fucking someone I know? Because I tell you right now that if I see that motherfucker, I will-“

“You’ll what, Danny?” Steve countered, his voice full of that dreaded deadly calm.

“Let’s just take a breath, gentlemen,” the therapist finally interrupted. “Danny, I can see that you are very upset right now. Can you tell Steve, calmly, why this news makes you angry?”

Danny was shaking with pent up emotion, his body vibrating with it. “Why didn’t you tell me this sooner, Steve? I thought you trusted me. I thought you knew me well enough by now to know that I would never judge you or think less of you for that. If I had known this sooner, maybe I could have…”

When he didn’t finish his thought, the doctor quietly prodded him, “Go on, Danny. Finish your thought. Steve has opened up to you, so he deserves the same in return.”

Danny buried his face in his hands. His words were muffled when he replied, “If I had known this sooner, maybe I could have had the nerve to tell you that I feel that way about you.”

Steve’s heart stuttered in his chest. Had he heard him correctly? Did he just say…? “Danny.” Steve tried to get his partner to look at him, but Danny’s face was still cradled in his hands. “Danno,” Steve’s voice was ragged with emotion, and it had the intended effect. Danny slowly lifted his head to look him in the face. “I was afraid, okay? No, not just afraid, but petrified that I would ruin everything if you knew the truth. I couldn’t risk that. I couldn’t risk that you would walk away from me and leave me all alone.”

Danny blinked his eyes rapidly until the moisture cleared enough for him to see the ravaged expression on his partner’s face. “How could you think that, babe? How many times have I told you I love you? I don’t say those words lightly and you know that. I’m not Catherine, or your parents, or Mary, or any of the other people in your life who have left you behind. I will never leave you, Steven, and even if you try to get rid of me, I will always follow you. When will you finally understand that?”

The silence between them was tense and fraught with emotion. The doctor ended their stand-off by saying, “I think we’ve made a lot of progress today, gentlemen. There are still many things for the two of you to discuss, so I am instituting a 48 hour mandatory period of time for you to do be together and discuss your issues. I don’t care where you stay, but it will be together, in the same house, and in the same room. You are not permitted to spend time apart for longer than 30 minutes for the entire weekend. You will not answer your phones, you will not take any cases, and you will not find excuses to leave.”

Danny’s head shot up. “I can’t do that! What about-“

“Your children? I’ve already spoken to Rachel, and explained that you have an important mission for the weekend. She assured me that Grace and Charlie are just fine and she will have Grace call you Sunday night. I have also taken the liberty of speaking with Lieutenant Kelly and informed him that you both will be off the grid this weekend. There are no more excuses, gentlemen. I expect you two to come to an understanding in the next two days. Either you will resolve the sexual tension between you, one way or another, or your partnership will come to end,” she explained, her tone firm yet compassionate.

Without another word, Steve and Danny stood to their feet and walked slowly out of the room.


	7. Chapter 7

After swinging by his house to pack a bag, Danny pulled up into Steve’s driveway and just sat there for several minutes. He felt shell-shocked and numb as if his body was trying to insulate itself from the chaos of emotion that was tearing him apart from the inside. Confusion, guilt, anger, betrayal, and jealousy warred for supremacy inside him until he wanted to smash something under his fists. As if that weren’t bad enough, his stupid brain kept conjuring images of Steve wrapped around another man, pulling his head back by the hair, while he fucked him from behind. Arousal and possessiveness had his whole body strung tight as a bow, and it took several more minutes of deep breathing and meditating before he could force himself out of the car and walk into Steve’s house.

When he walked into the den, he tossed his bag on the floor and looked over to see Steve sitting on the couch with a tumbler of amber liquor in his hand and a bottle of whiskey on the table. Another glass, already filled half-way full, sat waiting for him.

When Danny collapsed into the chair, Steve finally broke their silence. “I figured you would want a drink as badly as I needed one right now.”

Danny snorted and brought the glass to his lips. He took a deep drink and flinched as the liquor burned a path down his throat and ended up in his empty stomach. “Got anything stronger? Maybe some heroine or meth?”

A ghost of a smile flitted around Steve’s lips. “Nope, sorry. Just the whiskey. You want me to order a pizza?”

Danny nodded. “Yeah, that’s sounds good. You know what I like.”

“Apparently not,” Steve muttered as he thumbed through the contacts on his phone.

“Oh, we’re going to start that now? You have absolutely no room to talk, Steven. I’m not the one that’s been out fucking every guy I could get my hands on,” Danny exploded.

Steve slammed his phone down on the table and stood to his impressive height. “I do not go out and fuck every guy I meet, Danny. There have been a few over the last few years, I’m not going to lie about that anymore. They were meaningless hook-ups and I never fucked the same one twice. You don’t know any of them, and neither do I, really! They don’t even live on this island, for fuck’s sake! I thought you said there would be no judgement, Danny. Were you lying about that, too?”

Danny tossed back the rest of his drink and welcomed the warmth that spread through his body. Suddenly, the fight left him and he collapsed back in his chair. “Sit down, babe. I’m not going to yell anymore.” When Steve cautiously sat and picked up the bottle to refill Danny’s glass, he continued, “I swear I’m not judging you for having sex with men. I don’t judge anyone for their sexual orientation.”

Steve polished off his own drink and refilled it before speaking. “Then why are you so angry, Danny? I don’t know what you want me to say here.”

Danny’s breath stuttered out of him. “I’m angry and confused, because you kept this a secret from me for so long, and that makes me feel like you never really trusted me after all we’ve been through.”

Steve studied his friend closely with narrowed eyes. “Is that the only reason?”

Danny hesitated, but decided it was past time to lay all his cards on the table. “No. No, that is not the only reason. I’m hurt because you’ve never looked at me like that. I’m jealous, because I _want_ you to look at me like that.”

Steve couldn’t help the dry chuckle that bubble up out of his throat, but Danny immediately bristled.

“What? You think that’s funny, asshole? I spill my guts to you and you just fucking laugh?” Danny slammed the glass back on the table and stood up to leave. “I knew this was a big fucking mistake. I’m going home.”

“Danny!” Steve jumped to his feet and intercepted his partner. When he tried to put his hands on his shoulders, Danny flinched away and Steve dropped his hand. “Please, don’t go. Just come sit down with me for a minute and let me explain, okay?” When Danny made no move to sit, he lowered his voice and pleaded, “Please, Danno.”

Stiffly, Danny followed Steve back to the couch and sat next to him. Steve reached across the table and retrieved Danny’s glass and handed it to his partner. After taking another swallow of liquid courage, he spoke. “I wasn’t laughing at you, Danny. I was laughing because I can’t believe how stupid I’ve been all these years. So much time wasted…” he trailed off. Shaking his head clear, he continued. “I have wanted you from day one, Danny. Why do you think I even accepted the task force assignment when I did? It wasn’t because of my father’s murder case. It was because of you.”

Danny sank back into the cushions of the couch and cradled his drink in his hands. “Why didn’t you tell me, Steven? There have been so many times when you could have told me the truth, but you didn’t. Why didn’t you trust me?”

Steve angled his body to face him. “I didn’t want to lose you, so I buried it as deep as I could. You didn’t make it easy on me either, asshole. You have a problem with maintaining personal boundaries and space, you know. Then when you invited me into your life and let me have a relationship with Grace, I just fell harder. Every time you said you loved me, it was like a double-edged sword. It was both the best and worst feeling in the world. Your friendship has healed something broken inside me, Danno. Can’t you see that if I screwed it up by telling you the truth that I would completely fall apart if you left me?”

Danny rolled his head on the cushion and finally met Steve’s gaze with his own. “What do we do now?” he asked, his voice hoarse with emotion.

Steve smiled and replied, “We order pizza and eat dinner. And we do the one thing that I hate to do and that you seem to enjoy so much. We talk.”


	8. Chapter 8

Several hours later, Danny and Steve found themselves sitting in the wooden deck chairs on the lawn watching the ocean waves crash steadily into the shore. There was no light other than the stars and moon, and the silence between them was tense, yet still comfortable as they each sipped on a beer.

“Danny? Can I ask you something?” Steve finally broke the silence. When he hummed his agreement, Steve continued, “Have you really never been with another man before?”

Danny fiddled with his bottle, peeling some of the paper off. “No, I’ve never done that before. Not that I’m averse to the idea, but I was just never tempted to try until you came along and stormed into my life with guns blazing,” he answered truthfully. Clearing his throat, he asked his own question. “Is it that different from being with a woman? I mean, besides the obvious, of course.”

Steve’s chuckle was dark and sent goosebumps skittering up Danny’s arms. “Oh, yeah. It’s definitely different, but in a good way. With women, I feel like I have to be careful and tender, which isn’t a bad thing, but sometimes, I need something…more. With a man, you don’t have to treat them like they’re fragile. You can be rougher, squeeze harder, bite deeper, and not have to worry so much about hurting them with your strength.”

“Jesus,” Danny cursed, adjusting his swelling cock with his hand. Steve’s words sent heat spiraling through his body to pool in his groin as his treacherous brain conjured images of Steve’s fingers digging into his ass as he bit him on the shoulder.

Steve settled his beer into the grass and slid out of his chair. He closed the distance between them on his knees, careful not to spook his partner. He sidled up to Danny until his body was firmly wedged between his sprawled legs and leaned into his space. “I want to kiss you, Danny. Will you let me?”

For once, Danny had no words. His heart was in his throat, pounding out a desperate rhythm, but he managed to nod his consent. Steve wasted no more time, digging his fingers into the hair at Danny’s nape and drawing his face toward his own. In direct contrast to his earlier words, his lips were gentle and questing as they molded to Danny’s, never asking for more than he was willing to give. With a soft moan, Danny leaned into Steve’s kiss and deepened it by tracing the other man’s lips with his tongue.

Steve took this as his cue to take it further. His tongue pushed into Danny’s mouth, licking and plunging inside to taste the hint of beer and the sweetness of his after-dinner Peppermint Patty. Danny’s hands were fisted in Steve’s shirt, trying to pull him closer as Steve plundered his mouth with lips and teeth and tongue.

Danny finally broke off to pant for breath, and they remained in place with their foreheads together as they absorbed the enormity of crossing a line they had never dared even discuss before. Steve’s hand remained cradled on Danny’s jaw, his thumb lazily sweeping over his cheekbone while Danny’s hands remained tangled in Steve’s shirt.

“You okay, Danno?” Steve whispered, concern and trepidation lacing his tone.

Danny laughed a little hysterically. “Okay? No, I’m not okay, Steven. I’m hard as a fucking rock right now and not quite sure what to do about it.”

Steve’s face lit up with happiness and excitement. “Let’s go inside, and I’ll show you. Do you trust me?”

Danny’s breath was shaky, but he nodded without hesitation. “Yeah, of course I do.”

“Good. Let’s go,” Steve answered, grabbing Danny’s hand and pulling him to his feet and leading him toward the house.


	9. Chapter 9

Danny’s nerves were all over the place as they headed up the stairs and into Steve’s bedroom. He was scared to death of what they were about to do, but not because it was with Steve. In fact, that was the only reason he didn’t run from the room like he was being pursued by a flamethrower. No, he was terrified, because he had never done this with a man before, and he had no idea what he was doing. He had waited so long for this moment, but now that it was here, he was afraid he would screw it up.

Steve was all confidence and efficient movement as he drew his shirt up over his head and tossed it in the hamper. “Don’t move a muscle, Danno. Let me do everything this time, yeah?”

Danny nodded dumbly, incredibly relieved that Steve somehow seemed to sense his fear. When Steve was down to just his cargo shorts, he approached Danny and pulled him into his arms for another deep, lingering kiss. Danny quickly lost himself in the feel and taste of the man that had haunted his dreams for years, his hands roaming up the muscles of his back as his tongue dueled with Steve’s. Their bodies were flush with each other, and Danny couldn’t help but catalogue the differences in his mind. Steve’s body was as hard, if not harder, than his, but Danny found it to be exciting and erotic to feel the ridges of Steve’s abs under his questing fingers.

Steve broke away reluctantly, but he was a man on a mission. To that end, he grasped Danny’s shirt and ripped it off to throw it across the room before spinning him and pushing him to land on the bed with a bounce.

“Jesus, babe. You’re even an animal in the fucking bedroom,” Danny laughed nervously.

Steve’s eyes had turned dark and stormy with desire and they bored into Danny’s light blue ones. “For once, just shut the fuck up and do what I say. You won’t regret it. I promise you that.”

If it were possible, Danny’s cock got even stiffer at Steve’s growled command. Danny grinned, mimed closing his mouth with a key, and watched with interest as Steve peeled his cargo shorts down to pool at his feet leaving behind a thin pair of black boxer briefs that did little to hide the outline of his own swollen cock. Danny sucked in a shocked breath as a wave of lust nearly made him come in his pants right there, but Steve was not done with him yet.

“I want you completely naked in the next 30 seconds, Danny. You can either do it yourself right now, or I will do it and I won’t be gentle about it,” Steve said, his voice deep with a growl.

With shaking hands, Danny rushed to follow his orders before he could think too much about it. His slacks and boxers sailed through the air in seconds, and Danny spared a second to thank the stars that he had already removed his shoes and socks before they had gone outside. Danny lay back down on the bed, his head cushioned on the pillow, and self-consciously covered his swollen and leaking cock with his hands.

Like a lithe, sleek jungle cat, Steve prowled across the bed until he hovered above Danny, their faces only inches apart. “There’s nothing left to hide, Danny. I want you.” Grasping the other man’s hands, he forced them above his head and pushed them into the pillow beside his head. “All of you,” he clarified, before lowering his head for another deep kiss.

Danny groaned in the back of his throat as Steve settled his weight on top of his body and proceeded to ravage his mouth with his own. Steve broke away, panting for breath, and nipped a path over to Danny’s throat. He lathed the spot behind his ear then whispered, “I’m going to remove my hands, but you are not to move yours. Do you understand?”

Danny nodded frantically, his hips thrusting up against Steve’s in desperation. When he was sure his partner would comply, Steve resumed his assault on Danny’s body, his hands running through the soft, dense fur on his chest. He hummed in appreciation, whispering words of praise and encouragement, as he licked and circled the small, flat discs of Danny’s nipples, pausing to bite firmly but gently until Danny hissed and cursed while writhing beneath him.

When Steve finally made it down to the swollen length of Danny’s cock, he palmed it in his hand and squeezed it firmly. “Fuck, Danny. Look at your cock so thick and swollen and weeping for me.”

Danny cried out as Steve wasted no time in lowering his mouth over the crown and swept his tongue around the fat mushroom head before swiping it over the tip to capture his first taste of Danny’s essence on his tongue. He hummed with appreciation, sending delicious vibrations ringing through his partner, and began to move up and down on his length with skill from long practice.

Danny couldn’t hold back his moans and found his fingers slipping into the soft strands of Steve’s hair. Steve stopped his delicious torture and removed his mouth from Danny’s cock to snap, “Hands, Danny.”

Danny threw his arms back over his head and snapped back, “You’re such a control freak, asshole.”

Steve chuckled, his big hand moving up and down Danny’s cock until the other man was thrusting up and panting with desire. “I told you, Danno. I’m going to show you first. You can touch me when I’m done.”

Danny was too far gone to reply. He could feel the coil deep inside his guts getting tighter and tighter as Steve resumed his ministrations with his mouth. Never had Danny received a blow job like this before. Steve used just the right amount of firm grip with his hand, just enough suction with his mouth, and just the right speed to send him hurtling toward the biggest climax of his life.

“Fuck, Steve! I’m close! I can’t…” Danny trailed off helplessly, his hands gripping the pillow hard enough to split.

Steve pulled his mouth away and continued to push and pull his hand up and down Danny’s length with a twist at the end. It only took another few strokes and Danny came with shout, his hips thrusting up helplessly while thick streams of come spattered across his clenching abs. Steve watched in awe as Danny came apart underneath him. He had never seen anything more beautiful and erotic in his life as Danny looked in this moment.

Hastily, Steve scrambled out of his underwear and straddled Danny’s hips. Gently, he pried Danny’s right hand out of the pillow and brought it to his chest. Danny had to fight to open his eyes and focus on the man who had given him the most intense orgasm of his life. Gratefully, he ran his hand down Steve’s chest, not hesitating when his long, hard cock bumped against him. Pulling his hand away, Danny ran it through the slickness dotting his belly and brought his hand back to Steve’s cock.

Steve hissed and his muscles strained when Danny grasped him firmly in his hand and began to move his hand up and down his swollen length. “Look at you, babe,” Danny crooned, using his thumb to glide up his frenulum and swirl around the head. “So fucking hot. It’s your turn to let go. I want to see you come for me, Steven. Can you do that? Will you let me make you shoot all over me?”

Steve groaned as Danny’s dirty litany washed over him, bringing him right the brink in an embarrassingly short time. “Jesus, fuck! That mouth of yours, Danno,” he moaned, his hips thrusting harder into his partner’s hand.

“You love this mouth, babe,” Danny answered smugly. “Show me what you got. Come for me, Steven. Now!” he commanded, concentrating all his efforts on the sensitive crown.

Steve’s body bowed back and he grunted as his cock released jet after jet of hot come across Danny’s chest. Danny grinned triumphantly as he watched Steve lose control and allow himself to be vulnerable like this under Danny’s hand. His heart lurched with a wave of love and gratitude for Steve’s trust in him.

Steve collapsed next to his partner on the bed and his chest was heaving as he fought to get his breath back. “Jesus, Danny. That was just…I can’t even…”

Danny’s laugh was happy and a feeling of pride tinged his voice. “Not too bad for my first time, right?”

“That’s the understatement of the year,” Steve managed slur. “Give me an hour or so and we can do that again.”

Danny glanced down at his chest where the hair was matted with a combined mixture of both of their come. “Looking forward to it, babe. But maybe you can be the one on bottom next time so you get the joy of being a sticky mess at the end.”

Steve laughed and rolled over on top of him until their chests were pressed against each other. He leaned down and kissed his partner hard. When he pulled back to meet his eyes, he grinned that happy Labrador smile, and said, “There. Now you can quit your bitching, because we’re both a sticky mess now. Happy?”

Danny reached up and cupped Steve’s jaw in his hand. He was dead serious when he replied, “Absolutely. Never been happier in my life. Now, how about a shower?”

“A three-minute Navy shower?” Steve teased.

Danny rolled his eyes. “No, you animal. You don’t seem to understand the joy of showering with someone else. Let me show you.”

 


End file.
